Annoying her

The most annoying colleagues in the world are like follow:-

1. Claimed that she is very low profile but in actual she is not.
2. Trying to mimic other where she doesn't has the talent to do so.
3. Always pretending that she is weak but actually she is wicked.  She just need attention.
4. Never grown up and always think that she has the right to live in a dream world protected by other. Well, you might have your family who may pampered you this way but please don't you ever think of other to do the same for you. Live a life!
5. Do not know how to own up her own responsibility. Don't you feel tired of keep on receiving reminder from others?
6. Create politics, forming gangs.
7. Dependent  

and whatever you did just very annoying cause i dislike you.

This evening i was shocked by a news from my colleague.
A father of my colleague has passed away. Thousand of doubts wondering what was wrong with her dad?  Just few months ago her dad was the frequent driver to pick her back home from office for lunch then drove her back to office again when she was still pregnant. Only a man with good health could do this so frequent...

It should be an accident i guessed. Then this morning's headline suddenly came into my mind.  A Chinese man who was trying to clean the seaweed that stuck underneath the boat was found drowned. Then i read the news again, it was the same surname...

I couldn't think of it on how will i go through this if this happen to me. She just happily got a baby boy  2 months ago, then in such a sudden, her dad passed away. Life is so freaking fragile. We will not be able to know what will gonna happen the next second to us. Why? There are a lot of whys? Why he would ended up drowning? Why was this timing? Why only a 30 minutes time makes so much different in others life? Why?

I am afraid that would happen to me one day. But No... The real fact is everybody will gonna go through this stage. Is just a matter of time.

I refused to think of it.

It's so close to save him..Yet it's so real that he has gone. Everything is just drastic.

妒忌，谁都知道是不好的。当告诉别人不要妒忌不要去比较是非常容易过自己行出来。
为什么别人可以每天穿金带名牌？因为人家家有钱。
为什么别人可以有个帅气多钱的医生男朋友？因为人家有条件。
为什么别人可以进出豪华车，每天不一样车？因为家人赚多钱，不愁没车，还怕烦恼该驾哪驾好。
为什么别人家的好会对我有这么大的困扰？
因为我嫉妒人家的。
我能怎样去面对呢？
我很清楚知道比较不是让人骄傲就是让人自卑，没其他答案。
可偏偏不能把脑子的想法给驱走，换个正面又积极的。
今天本来是可以很高兴的，我加薪了。
可是好死不死的心思全被一颗极为耀眼的钻戒给破坏。
问问自己，难道是我也要吗？不是的，我不要。
可是为什么又会觉得别人也不应该拥有呢？因为我嫉妒。
为什么会嫉妒？因为在这个世界这叫享受。
为什我会要想也这样享受呢？因为我想要成为别人的瞩目点。
原来我以前的这种想法还在脑海里，还没磨灭。

我得学习如何克服这个难关。。往后的日子多的是磨练试探，我不可能每天让自己过得那么辛苦，都自私的希望别人不好来衬托我的好。

如何学习谦卑，如何学习低调？谈永远易过行。

愿啊爸父原谅我，接纳我，教导我走你路。

kuching

A place full of memories. Places that I familiar with and new building coming out like peacock showing off their uniqueness which I doubted it works.

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I never thought of living in KL. Thinking of that make me feel so sick. I'd rather choose to live in singapore if I have to move to KL.

But for this moment,I enjoy staying in sarawak. This is my home. Where I have family, friends and memories. I think when I aged, I am prone to stay in the comfort zone. Am just too chicken to change. I just want a simple life. I don't need fancy house and accessaries.

How funny realising my life goal changing by time. How precise Marlow theory describes human's life span.

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I have changed.
I become less friendly and my selfishness increased.
I wonder is it the memory that I had in singapore that made me this way?

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