So here comes to the end of the year 2011, i have nothing much to say. The whole year seemed to be all surrounded by Singapore. From the early of the year, prepared myself for Singapore. The mix feelings, i can't hardly to ignore. It pops out once a while when something similar trigger me. And the settling down at this island. Mentally and physically be prepared for quite a long period. From the basic needs to love, it seems all come clear now. It's been nine months i was working here. At times i still think that how actually i managed to go through all these. How? I have no answer. The only answer i could have is because of God. By the moment He leaded me, i might not know, i think i was still in the sea of self pity and self doubt. But when the heavy cloud gone, it's all clear. It was a lesson to learn. The only way that i can learn by experiencing. I just live.

Not forgetting too my initial dreams to be here, either to continue vet study or aim for mission, at the same time gaining working experience. Can see it clearly that career isn't my main concern in my life. I have no big passion dream for my career. Well, i might not be able to do any for both for the former dream in year 2011, but i still can carry forward to next year, or the following year again. Nothing is too late.

I have spoken to Wei Li, he said that next year there are going to have 2 missions at Indonesia. I am hoping to join one. For the vet course, i search it here but all it has is full time diploma course. I am not going back to full time study. Degree course available mostly at Australia and it's kinda expensive. I will pray about that again see how it should goes.

Yesterday my boss was doing informal appraisal with me, he was sorta giving advice saying i should have my goals on where my HR career wanna be. All in my mind was "i want to take care of animal. I don't give a shit of to think of serving in HR."

Then again, whether i like it or not, life goes on no matter i achieve my dream or not. It could be i am now fighting the process to achieve my dream? or it could be i am in the middle of reaching my dream? who knows. Or i might get something even better than what i planed.

JL told me that getting a dog is a huge commitment. It might refrain us from mobile around. But i really really like dog, and i can't be that selfish too if i can't take good care of them. OR maybe JL's mum can move to Miri too?? hahaha...just kidding.

Anyway, See ya next year!

我会改变我现在的生活。至少我会尽力。
我会去查一查看到底我想要进修的科系需要花多少时间金钱。
我会有规律的运动（买了鞋之后，现在没鞋），保持自己。
我会学习独立，不要逞强。 情绪上也是。
我会再开一个户口给储蓄用途。必要的紧急保障。
我会再乐观些，有些退步了。
我会学一学新加坡人的为自己而活。要开心。
我会多多联络家乡的老朋友，他/她们曾经都成为过我的支柱。
我会再捉紧上帝的手，继续抄经。
我会再学习从乌云密布到太阳公公出来的过程。
我会再多读点书。
我会在工作上尽自己能力做好本分。
我会在爱人爱己上学会爱己，把正确的才给人。
我会再绽放光芒的。
我会把以上的都抄进我随身携带的笔记本。

I would like to make it short.

Friend's marriage life showed me a lot of simple yet realistic condition. Ranging from money, physically changes(pregnant) to sex life. It's kinda freak me out a bit to hear that. Some were understandable but some were..i think there is a way to fix it. I dare not to comment about it but just take it as a lesson i learnt from others (both good or bad one)

Recently finished a book name "Stolen Life" by Jaycee Dugard. It's a real story about her.The story is very penetrating. Traumatic life.

Working life is the same, still challenging.

Holiday seasons making more home sick feeling.

JL is busy with his work too.  It is a good thing for us, having more time off for our own, be it for reading or just doing nothing. And i can call friends more often. I think at times i enjoyed being alone.

I made it to the end of year 2011!
There were joys and tears and loves.
I thank God for walking me through the ugly time,
for bringing me to failure and sucess,
to experience the process,
to soak in the bad just to let me know what is good.

There were so many ups and downs
but two things remain unchanged.
The heart for God and the heart for Lim.

Merry Christmas.
Spending christmas time alone is not scary
but if you spend it with a bunch of people yet you can't feel the peacefulness and happiness, you should be aware then.
I hope baby will have a wonderful Christmas.

No special meaning. Just i look pretty awesome so i post it up here. ( >0< )xixixixi...

我以为别人这样做会得到什么，我同样的做也会。结果很错。

朋友的PTPTN在去年还清了。而且她和我是大学同年的。她在新加坡做工，所以我相信她有能力还得快。

我来了这里也七个月了。我也是想尽快把PTPTN还清。

可是昨晚我听到她和别人的对话时才晓得，原来她的年终花红可以是3个月工资。而且她起薪是整整$600 起跳。以此推算，她真的是轻而易举只要一笔花红就可以还清那区区一万多的马币了。我还拼命的打算盘，一直怀疑自己怎么不能像她那么本事。原来如此。心里比较踏实，不是我不够有心，而是我们两根本就不一样嘛。真不应该比较。我也有我值得的地方。之前是我不了解，现在懂了！

而且她对工作的付出是真的一条心。拼了命的为公司忙，得到的也是应该的。

看看我自己也不赖啊！工资没很多，可是还是有比很多人多咯。工作也没有那么的喘不过气来，至少我可以每天准时放工。而且我来这里在医药上的开销已经是多很多比以前，我还是够用。虽然很多意外的开销，可是我还是足够。还是开心因为自己还是可以自供自给。目前唯一就是将来要回去时，要是没能马上找到一份不错的工，自己能否有一笔足够的本在应对生活所需。虽然一路来我都做好了帐，编排了钱的用处，可常常会有一些意料外的开销，所以计划真的刚不上变化这话是真的，是可信的。

我总有很强烈的感觉，这一路走来，满满的祝福恩典在我身上运行。一直到今天还是一样。对未来也一样！

今天去拔了智慧牙。没想过会在这里拔牙。偏偏就发生我牙痛非拔不可。去了我$390。多吗？其实很感恩，之前看过同事拔是$800，我的还算是可以了。也还好我牙已经长整颗出来了，我不需要开刀，正差程序就可以了，不然真的是吃不消。

男友问我钱够用吗？我说不很多，不过常常都够用。他说他羡慕我。我说，你如果觉得够用，那一定是常常够用的。我很骄傲的告诉他。宝贝你一直都够用对吗？^^

我爱死了我的牙齿，在此附上牙齿一颗。不是血淋淋的那颗（那颗去面子书看），而是我清洁了晾干的。和家里那颗一起我就有一对了^^ *so proud*

还有我喜欢很久的poster!

Look at the bear!! so cute right???? you can see her eye liner!! mad cute!!!! Credit to the design!