Why when getting older, we will tend to see things so complicated?？

At least i will. And i am getting older and older. 

Is it something like 见过黑所以怕黑. 我是不是见太多黑了？

Especially when deal with human being. Too much of bad stories from other also not good i think. 

When you hear people talking about "la ni na" last time in Sibu, you could see a lot of people go and store their 干粮 and do some funny things like my mom buying 土油灯=.= 

When you hear people say got 狗瘟then you can see a lot of dogs will be killed cause people will suspect those bulu cabut anjing are all having狗瘟。

When people say SARS can be cured by green bean, you could see the uncle in the grocery store all laugh till no eyes only teeth. Cause they mark up the price for green bean and sell to those funny people. Including my mom too. Again.=.=

Kla..i don't bullshit here. Just wanna get back my 赤子之心。

妈说家的狗好像有病。。。就怕不长命了。

以前阿白也是有病，我一直相信它会好起来，很乐观看待，结果它麻是痛苦的死了。

赤子之心好像派不上用场了...

I went to Kelong Ahfatt at Sibu Island. Somewhere near to Kota Tinggi, Johor. It was a fun trip. I didn’t expect much from the trip but when I reached the wharf, when I saw the water (not clean of course), I started to get excited. The sea was beautiful with all the different layer colors. I saw the小剑鱼在海上跳跃了好几回！The mood was getting more and more high. I love boat. I love sea.

When we reached there, the place kinda shocked me. It was totally open. No privacy at all. Everyone will know what you were doing at there. No door (except washroom).  The place has a little bit of fishy smell, not so clean (especially on the floor, you could see a lot of marks on the floor. )I only knew it when we started to do fishing. It was the bait! People cut the bait straightaway on the wooden floor. That’s where the fishy smell came from.

I was having the feeling, “yuacks! So dirty…and so hot outside, no shelter to cover somemore…But when one of our friends caught the 1^st catch, the “I also wanna get one” feeling came. Girls all put on thick sunblock then we all went out to get our fishing tools and started to hunt our fish! And tada…these were just some of it!! So colourful right??? Learnt to know how to use the fishing rod properly, like how to through the bait far and how to take the bait out of the fishes’ mouth! Full of fun!!!

Erm....they told me to do so....to make the small fish the bait. But it didn't work at all..

The only thing that I couldn’t stand was the washroom+bathroom. Everything went down to the sea…Yuacks…I don’t dare to shit for the 2 days at there..Just couldn’t make it. And I only shower once. Suspecting the water was not clean too…

On the last night we had their chef to cook our fishes for us as supper. With red wine and vodka. 吹着海风，吃着新鲜出炉的鱼，小酌两口，真悠哉。

I met with uni mate on facebook.
She kinda like coming peace but i couldn't make it with her.
Cause she's just not my type.
The resentments are kinda difficult to wash away.
It takes time.
Or maybe she just simply not my cup of tea.
Forget about that.
None of my business.

Just not the right time to clean up my mind. Busy recently.

Staying at Singapore for around half a year, seldom i will go out and eat alone. Funny thing is now i started to learn to eat outside alone. Especially after the tiring job. What trigger me to do so? FAT! Eating late makes me feel very guilty to my body. Sometimes up to 9pm only i can have my dinner. And now i sleep quite early at night. I don't really have enough time for my lovely stomach to digest all. The result now is I have cute tummy. I don't like it lo =.=

It's quite interesting to eat alone here. Actually not alone, especially at those indoor or outdoor food court cause everyone is sharing the table with strangers. It is their culture already, not like in Sarawak. You will get to see different types of people. Until now i only met with those middle age uncles and aunties. You actually can curi listen their conversation and still pura pura act like i don't understand Cantonese or Hokkien. But i know a bit a bit...^^ I was wondering if they wanna ask me something in future, i will use mandarin to reply them i don't understand then pura pura eat my food and get ready my ears to curi dengar again! HAHA!So fun!

BTW, i wrote quite a lot of post this afternoon about argument. But don't know why blogger didn't save my draft so when i clicked publish the whole post gone. So sien...i lazy to type again cause couldn't recall. All are sudden thoughts. But basically is about there are goods and bads about argument. But nothing is unresolvable if you have the heart and the mindset to work it up. Something like this.

My mom just called. I love my mom. And my dad. And all my family. And JL. And all my lovely and supportive friends.

V is telling me that from her point of view to perceive me and my boss is like "i was the assistant who were reluctant to provide fully support to my boss. "

I feel bad. Honestly.
And i really dislike my boss.

Well, i can't control how others look at me and how my boss treats me. No point to further discuss on this.  All i can do is tying my best to do my job. It is not within my control to change the situation. There are so many factors involving in. I am neither totally wrong nor right.

Afterall i still need to move on this.

It is damn fucking easy to blame on other.

So do i.

I feel suffocated at times. By the hectic lifestyle, all the responsibilities and commitments. One thing is clear, i am not someone who is irresponsible or easily give up to everything.

I figured it out a bit by myself.  When i am in the "suffocated" or stress mood, everything seems not right for me. Everything.  Just everything. I think because at that moment, the "my feeling" is taking control of my mind. And the only feeling that comes most of the time is all negetive/bad feeling. That explain why i easily get frustrated especially when talking over the phone with him. I assumed that he should unerstand my feeling and comfort me. But the thing is he is he. He is male. He never know how fast a woman can change their mood and he can't catch my thinking too. Rarely can spot the right one. In the end he always felt being fooled by me which makes me want to escape more from those bad feeling.

What to do? The more i tell him, i feel like the more i need to explain. And if i can't make good explanation, then everything started to be complicated. The intention is just a girl-boyfriend daily sharing...but ended up all the miserable feeling. Recently having the better-don't-tell-so-much feeling before sleep cause it will affect our sleeps which later add on another guilt feeling of creating sleepless night to each other.

Sometimes i just need a quiet time.  Time for me only.
How am i gonna do to make him understand?
How to ease the uncomfortable feeling?

SHIT! I started liking being alone again. (mood swinging here and there again i know..)

From single to couple, i still need to learn a lot a lot.
Selfish again.

women should ? or shouldn't ?

I read an article on Today On Sunday. Here it is.

I take great pleasure in being a woman, but there are so many expectations from society on what i should or shouldn't do. I heartily agree with some of these impositions, but consider others downright insulting.

For example, women should know how to cook.
Many of us have ambitions to be hugely successful in our careers.  With our competitive working schedules, there isn't much time left to learn domestic skills. (except those learnt from their mom).

Women should be more decisive.
Honey, the only things guaranteed in life are death, taxes and change. So accept it, a woman will keep changing her mind several times a day.

Women should mean it when they say everything's fine.
That's true.  Why expect the poor fellow to read your mind.  He can't even find his clean socks, or know when he's done something wrong (again), so put him out of his confusion and guide him.

Women shouldn't get drunk.
I disagree with that when i'm sipping a nice wine, but agree wholeheartedly when i see a woman crying (usually over the ex), having someone hold her hair back while she throws up by the side of the road, or getting carried out of the cab. A woman who imbibes elegantly is a lovely sight to behold.

Women should know how to drive.
Guys tell me that they want to be picked up and chauffeured sometimes.  I believe it's necessary for a woman to be independently mobile whenever she wants, or be able to take the keys of his Audi and drive off. Forever.

Women should wax.
As far as i know, men are hairy gorillas.  But they never say that men should wax.  Yet even the most hirsute would eye a woman's barely-visible leg fuzz and remark with disdain, "wah, so hairy".  I agree that dark stubby hair on women's limb and maybe underarms could do with some waxing.  But that's as far as it should go, guys.  Stop trying to make her look like she's 12.

And, finally, woman should use sex as a weapon.
Absolutely.  How else can we get you to do the things you'd never volunteer for, like life that heavy luggage onto the top shelf, kill the cockroach hiding in the cupboard, or stop face-mailing your hot ex-girlfriend?  It's a win -win situation when we reward you for your good behavior, because we both feel deep satisfaction.

大裤配小裤

A story to tell

Better don't spell out a word when you are angry.

Cause you will see someone happying beside you.

Then someone will be crying.

Then something will be broken.

Then a lot of this will be needed.

At the end it might bring to this.

Or if lucky is this.

End of the story.