心情很乱。。。
对自己有很大的期望，希望自己什么都精通，所以今天在练习国语事工表演时，和另一位姐妹被派到跳伊班舞 ，她好有天分，手脚都很灵活的活动。反观我，憋手憋脚的怎么都跟不上。大家的眼全都注视在我们身上,好难堪，想放弃。。。

所以我把心情给写了出来。为的是要鼓励我自己不要那么轻易放弃！
现在教我跳舞的人也找到了，就剩我自己的信心。
不要这么容易被打败，而且我还有时间练习，难保不会把舞给练好!
不要被其他人事物影响，努力坚持到底，更不要把不好的情绪给带进其他事件当中！
坚定相信神如此安排有祂的旨意！

My brother

My brother is going to Brunei tomorrow. And i felt bad. He never been there before yet he shows no fear at all in front of us. Okay maybe he is worrying himself alone about his things...
I tried to put myself in his situation cause soon or later i might be the one following his foot step. If i were him, i might be worrying a lot. I won't be as calm as him.  This is what i like him most. His attitude towards life in this world, like nothing is big enough for him to worry. But he cares people around. Sometimes mom called him stupid. But i know he is happy with what he has done and he is willing to sacrifice for all those.

I can't keep on worrying so much. I have to surrender to Him, surrender to not knowing about everything, surrender to Him as He is in charge for everyone that i loved and i cared and for everything.

I wish him all the best and do not be afraid or discouraged, cause no matter where he goes, He will be with him.

I'm waiting for you to build the "special hand made" book rack for me.

My sister

I think tonight toy story 3 makes me think back my childhood. They way we all fought for something. Like keropok, ice cream, necklace....and toys.  I remembered my mom brought back two silver necklace with cross on it. I loved it so much cause my mom never gave us any accessories to wear. But i lost that time, my brother and sister get those...i was so disappointed and angry. why i couldn't have one? Why my mom didn't want to buy four for four of us?   When i looked back now is just so funny...Kid's thought.

Another one was at "Yakab", Sarikei, my old town, my aunt wanna went to pasar. So me and my sister cried for going together. Then my aunt said " okay okay, only lee can go with me cause she's already put on lipstick"......That was so unfair! cause she never said whoever put on lipstick can go out with her!
Funny i couldn't remember much for the life there but i remembered this.
I was only 3 or 4 years old that time.

It is impossible for us to fight again for these little little things. My sister now is someone's wife and mom.  She has her own life need to go through, with someone, 15km from us. She started to mix with how much is the price of  1 kilo of pork meat, which school is better for little kelvin, when her husband will be home, when can she has another new member....

Well enjoy life no matter how! have faith always!

I'm stress.
Struggling not to be controlled by it.
My body yelling for massage!!!!
I need massage...

生日快乐

Happy 24th birthday ping ping~~

Thanks mummy and daddy for bringing me up for 24 years.
Thanks for providing me all those ups and downs,
to make me stronger.

I'm too blessed  for everything.
Thank you my Heavenly Father.

Ran # 1

Irene spent RM400-RM500 for my birthday celebration. Including Raymond together. I felt like nothing just sayang with the money.

I'm not really appreciate "big celebration" with many guests which i do not know.  I prefer just a simple outing or movie or mamak stalk with someone really close and comfortable to be with.  No fancy dress or make up, just t shirt and short pant. No high heel, just my caspia slipper. No purposely high class restaurant, i think Bandong or Muhibah is enough to pamper my stomach. No bloody check to pay for, just couple ringgit^^. For me the sincerity is everything.

But i do love the books that she bought for me, cause i picked for myself.^^ I love books. but must be my favourite type one.

Surprisingly, Raymond had me a present. I have no idea that he would buy me a dress which i'm really couldn't expect. It's actually not my type of dress, too blink but i lay to him saying that i like it.  I'm so paiseh cause i didn't prepare any for him. So today i went to Methodist bookstore to buy a book named " Your Best Life Now" for him.  Running out of time and idea what should i buy so i think book is the best gift for him and easier for me.
BUT, it doesn't mean that for those who had received my present (book) was just simply buying one!
Okay, settle for this.

My colleague, Alan, who went to Kuching with his fiancee and her parent on Gawai for his wedding photo shooting, involved in a car accident. His kenari kemek like biscuit tin! So blessed that they were all alright. It is supposed to be a happy holiday but ended up like this.  Luckily no serious injury. Couldn't imagining the situation if ...
It's just so close.
Felt release to hear his voice again.

Finally, home sweet home.
I requested my mom to cook for me foochow red wine chicken mee sua for my birthday.
Saying this already makes me drooling, can imaging how much i love it!

Long house visiting

Long house visiting was fun. Especially watching people been forced to drink tuak by the long house little gals. And the tarian "ngajat" i think, that all my friends danced around the tree and cut down the food that they hang by using parang. When they cut down the food, they have to shout "Aaaa~~~" which makes all of us non stop laughing.

I thought i could escape from tuak but they welcomed us by beratur along their main door, each and everyone who wants to get inside have to taste at least a cup of tuak.

End up some of the guy's friends drunk...but some of them really li hai one...kept on one goal one goal but still steady as usual. One of them finally couldn't stand and asked to stop van to vomit!! Poor boy~Funny la cause i think he's embarassing in front of us.

Well, as conclusion, long house visiting wasn't my main purpose, the very main reason is to strengthen the friendship bones which i'm weak in it.

"Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai"
Finally i can spell it right now