Hey, someone there...
i wanna tell you that i miss him.
No....is not missing.
Close to miss but it is not missing.
Just feel like wanna cry.
Feel like why it ended up like this? Why?
Lots of thinking running through my mind when i looked at his photos.
The very 1st thing i wanna ask him is "how are you?"
How are you jon?
If you're gonna ask me back.
My answer would be: I'm pretty good now. But i still need time.
I knew that i shouldn't write all this again. I have to move on and stop all this stupid imagination and what if sorta things. People said it is pity for a person to keep on not letting past memories go. Writing blog about someone does not cure everything. I don't want to be self pity.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Hello barbarians~
There are some barbarians here.
Working for these barbarians is training me to restrain my temper.
I'm just doing my job. And my job is to make sure you do the right thing.
You are the one who miss out and yet came and complained saying that how pity your guys are....How cruel the management treated you...blah blah blah...
If you've done nothing wrong,tolonglah, i don't even bother to recall your name!
Wondering the only cara you guys used is complaining non stop through phone, with me tak sempat replying a word, then cut off the call. Is it funny? Or does it make you happier?
-.-
Working for these barbarians is training me to restrain my temper.
I'm just doing my job. And my job is to make sure you do the right thing.
You are the one who miss out and yet came and complained saying that how pity your guys are....How cruel the management treated you...blah blah blah...
If you've done nothing wrong,
Wondering the only cara you guys used is complaining non stop through phone, with me tak sempat replying a word, then cut off the call. Is it funny? Or does it make you happier?
-.-
Monday, September 27, 2010
Places to sleep under the stars
I took this from Yahoo website.
http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-35722807
Photos enclosed
Loisaba Wilderness Lodge, Kenya ( I like this the most! I kiss the sun!)
Lion Sands Private Game Reserve, South Africa ( Then this!!! I love the environment!!!)
Amangiri Resort, Canyon Point, Utah ( The sky and the baldness attract me.)
Blue Mountains Private Safaris, Australia (Among all these, this place is like a place that i might go, cause is near to Malaysia)
Adrère Amellal Desert Ecolodge, Egypt (Egypt, it used to be my must-go-place-in-my-life, i think still.)
Killa Bhawan, Rajasthan (Not addicted. Maybe because will feel guilty to stay at such a high place, while the rest of them are living starving)
L’Albereta, Erbusco, Lombardy, Italy (Erm....not at all. It's too modern for me...Nonono...)
http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-35722807
Photos enclosed
Loisaba Wilderness Lodge, Kenya ( I like this the most! I kiss the sun!)
Lion Sands Private Game Reserve, South Africa ( Then this!!! I love the environment!!!)
Amangiri Resort, Canyon Point, Utah ( The sky and the baldness attract me.)
Blue Mountains Private Safaris, Australia (Among all these, this place is like a place that i might go, cause is near to Malaysia)
Adrère Amellal Desert Ecolodge, Egypt (Egypt, it used to be my must-go-place-in-my-life, i think still.)
Killa Bhawan, Rajasthan (Not addicted. Maybe because will feel guilty to stay at such a high place, while the rest of them are living starving)
L’Albereta, Erbusco, Lombardy, Italy (Erm....not at all. It's too modern for me...Nonono...)
Flowery blogs
Those flowery blogs are so hard to read!!! So distractive...
And i noticed seldom people who blog in English would do that, only those on Chinese, they will put more than 3 colours of its font, and there would be different size of their fonts too.....
k lah, not all Chinese fonts writer did that.
Maybe i forgot to bring my glasses,
will put on my glasses next time when i read it.
And i noticed seldom people who blog in English would do that, only those on Chinese, they will put more than 3 colours of its font, and there would be different size of their fonts too.....
k lah, not all Chinese fonts writer did that.
Maybe i forgot to bring my glasses,
will put on my glasses next time when i read it.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
If Only
I'm so wanna post this on the other blog. But i think it is not a good place to post it. It's not a good idea.
For those who likes "The notebook", this is so much more nicer.
I just want you to listen. You need to hear it.
I....but i wouldn't allow myself to truely feel it until today
Today, because of you, what i learnt from you, every choice i made was different and my life has completely changed
If you do that, you are living your life fully, doesn't matter if you have 5 minutes or 50 years
If not for you, i'd never known love
Thank you for been positive told me to love, and to be loved
You don't have to say anything
I just want to tell you
For those who likes "The notebook", this is so much more nicer.
I just want you to listen. You need to hear it.
I....but i wouldn't allow myself to truely feel it until today
Today, because of you, what i learnt from you, every choice i made was different and my life has completely changed
If you do that, you are living your life fully, doesn't matter if you have 5 minutes or 50 years
If not for you, i'd never known love
Thank you for been positive told me to love, and to be loved
You don't have to say anything
I just want to tell you
Patience
I have no patience to talk with someone who likes to talk. So mean. Okay, if he or she is telling me something with points, that should be fine. But telling me a bunch of things which i couldn't get the point! It sucks. Especially when i was not feeling well while sitting in a room with strong air con. Yet someone don't wanna end his or her stories. Even though we are all adult but that doesn''t mean that we can concentrate well everytime to every topic. Mind you, we loss concentration like kids too.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Calender
I prefer to blog here rather than the other blog. Think i can't monetize my blog cause i'm not so willing to share my thoughts with everyone. Not generous and open minded enough to do it.
Last night i found a piece of letter from my last year calender book. It was a letter for stanley. A letter that i wrote when i was moaning for his death. It describes how hard for me to accept his leaving. And how stupid i am to angry with a death person. I never remembered the date of his death only until last night. It's been more than a year. But i felt like many many years already he left me. To be honest, he was the most caring guy. He would cook porridge for me when i was sick, he would put on vicks and massage my stomach when i had period pain, he would bring me to places that i wanna go, he would be supportive at all the time, he would accompany me to look for job...I'm not missing him. He was just part of my memories and no one will gonna take it back from me. It was my pass story. I thew the letter this morning. The ring he gave me was still there, and the key. I think i'm gonna throw it later when i go home.
The calender was full of note. Some of the columns had stars on it. It was stuck by me everytime i had a date with Jon. There were so many on it. Thanks to the book, i could even recall back the time i went to KL for the SIA interview which ended up i just went there to relax cause the interview been postponed. And i stayed at Alex's place, mad with Jon and made up my mind to give him up. Of course, not successful. Then the Dinner at Damai Resort, Redang trip, Melacca, then Indon missionary trip. The calender only filled until early of June. It was the time i went back to Sibu. The next agenda was my convocation.
Looked at the empty July, it was the time i got my 1st job after finished my University. Then August-Convo, September, October, November-It was the time i mess up everything. December-Confession. Jan-July'10- Forgiveness and worked it out together. August-Finally, the story ended up here.
Last night i found a piece of letter from my last year calender book. It was a letter for stanley. A letter that i wrote when i was moaning for his death. It describes how hard for me to accept his leaving. And how stupid i am to angry with a death person. I never remembered the date of his death only until last night. It's been more than a year. But i felt like many many years already he left me. To be honest, he was the most caring guy. He would cook porridge for me when i was sick, he would put on vicks and massage my stomach when i had period pain, he would bring me to places that i wanna go, he would be supportive at all the time, he would accompany me to look for job...I'm not missing him. He was just part of my memories and no one will gonna take it back from me. It was my pass story. I thew the letter this morning. The ring he gave me was still there, and the key. I think i'm gonna throw it later when i go home.
The calender was full of note. Some of the columns had stars on it. It was stuck by me everytime i had a date with Jon. There were so many on it. Thanks to the book, i could even recall back the time i went to KL for the SIA interview which ended up i just went there to relax cause the interview been postponed. And i stayed at Alex's place, mad with Jon and made up my mind to give him up. Of course, not successful. Then the Dinner at Damai Resort, Redang trip, Melacca, then Indon missionary trip. The calender only filled until early of June. It was the time i went back to Sibu. The next agenda was my convocation.
Looked at the empty July, it was the time i got my 1st job after finished my University. Then August-Convo, September, October, November-It was the time i mess up everything. December-Confession. Jan-July'10- Forgiveness and worked it out together. August-Finally, the story ended up here.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The moon
The moon is so bright and big on the sky. And there is a star just on the south of it like a guardian angel. For those who were not in Malaysia, the moon is it the same as what i saw? If we look at it at the same time, is that means we are looking at each other?
I am happy to see the moon. It's beautiful.
I am happy to see the moon. It's beautiful.
From August to September
Dramatically change from August to September.
From the very beginning of August, went to Kuching to attend my junior's wedding with him, so happy like we were going to go through every ups and downs, the sweetest smile and happiest expression. A week after the trip, he said it was all over. Then we were over. It was still the early of August i assumed.
The day after broke up until the early of September was my struggling period. I tried to look back to him which only get back cold response. Crying in front of friends and family that i never thought i would. Digging his facebook profile to know every single move of him. And all the infor i get tore me into pieces. The last message i gave him was "stay close to Him no matter how." It shows i couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't say anything else by my own. I've no authority to say so. Then i made this blog into public. I started to realize one by one, the bad to share a blog with your lover only, the bad to take photos with your lover together, the bad to present your lover the photos of both, the bad to hang the photos on the wall that everyone would notice, the bad to write love letter, the bad to go traveling only with your lover, the bad to tell everything to your lover, and the good to not giving your lover any memorial present.
September, i was learning to forgive both of them. And myself. For this incident. For him, i didn't blame him for saying it was over, i should knew that we were indeed having problem when we were together, something just not right yet we didn't say it out. And he made the move to call off. The right move i called it. For him, i was trying to forgive you, and i was really gratify to know that your marriage was aiming right. And your wife looked more chubby, it was much more better than the skeleton look. And congrats for soon to have another new member. To be honest, i couldn't be your friend. Never. But i'll totally forgive you one day. For myself, i knew somewhere, somehow i did wrong. And i believed all the consequences start from me. A huge realization behind the fact.
At time, i'm still struggling for something unknown. At time, I would be pessimistic too.
During these period, I was getting closer to some friends. Get to know that they always care about me. It was shamed to only know now that friendship will gonna play a vital part in my life. I missed this for quite a long time.
I am looking forward from September to October and October to November and....
From the very beginning of August, went to Kuching to attend my junior's wedding with him, so happy like we were going to go through every ups and downs, the sweetest smile and happiest expression. A week after the trip, he said it was all over. Then we were over. It was still the early of August i assumed.
The day after broke up until the early of September was my struggling period. I tried to look back to him which only get back cold response. Crying in front of friends and family that i never thought i would. Digging his facebook profile to know every single move of him. And all the infor i get tore me into pieces. The last message i gave him was "stay close to Him no matter how." It shows i couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't say anything else by my own. I've no authority to say so. Then i made this blog into public. I started to realize one by one, the bad to share a blog with your lover only, the bad to take photos with your lover together, the bad to present your lover the photos of both, the bad to hang the photos on the wall that everyone would notice, the bad to write love letter, the bad to go traveling only with your lover, the bad to tell everything to your lover, and the good to not giving your lover any memorial present.
September, i was learning to forgive both of them. And myself. For this incident. For him, i didn't blame him for saying it was over, i should knew that we were indeed having problem when we were together, something just not right yet we didn't say it out. And he made the move to call off. The right move i called it. For him, i was trying to forgive you, and i was really gratify to know that your marriage was aiming right. And your wife looked more chubby, it was much more better than the skeleton look. And congrats for soon to have another new member. To be honest, i couldn't be your friend. Never. But i'll totally forgive you one day. For myself, i knew somewhere, somehow i did wrong. And i believed all the consequences start from me. A huge realization behind the fact.
At time, i'm still struggling for something unknown. At time, I would be pessimistic too.
During these period, I was getting closer to some friends. Get to know that they always care about me. It was shamed to only know now that friendship will gonna play a vital part in my life. I missed this for quite a long time.
I am looking forward from September to October and October to November and....
后续
之前写了好恨你，很感恩当天并没有特别的难受。只是心有些说不上来的感觉。
原来她怀孕了！
本来说好不写你了，可是还是很多关于你的。别人欢欢喜喜的为新生命而开心，我却哭哭啼啼的为失去而伤心。 从来都没想过自己会遇到这样的机遇。是怎么想都想不到的一个结果。他顺利结婚怀孕了。我顺利单身，学习更坚强独立。心里有时还是会不舒服。甚至今天看到关于他前女友的消息也会造成我的动荡。我，到底是怎么了？我很想完完全全的摸透我自己，可是却越来越不懂自己。经上说，只有祂懂我们的需要，因为祂是创造我的父。所以是祂懂我不需要这个人，不需要这段恋情，因为那不是我需要的？可是为什么我会很想回头？为什么我会伤心？为什么我不能面对他的种种？
我今天这么多的为什么其实代表我没有完完全全的信任祂。因为我怀疑祂所预备给我的。怀疑为什么是让我苦的。
心里有两个声音在拉扯。
一个是怀疑，一个是要我学习，记取教训。
一个是负面的，一个是真面的。
一个让我觉得痛苦，一个让我觉得舒服，解脱。
一个谴责着我，一个原谅我，给我机会。
一个让我灰心，绝望，一个给我希望，全新的希望。
一个让我抱怨，一个让我感恩。
一个是魔鬼，一个是上帝。
我是知道的。
原来她怀孕了！
本来说好不写你了，可是还是很多关于你的。别人欢欢喜喜的为新生命而开心，我却哭哭啼啼的为失去而伤心。 从来都没想过自己会遇到这样的机遇。是怎么想都想不到的一个结果。他顺利结婚怀孕了。我顺利单身，学习更坚强独立。心里有时还是会不舒服。甚至今天看到关于他前女友的消息也会造成我的动荡。我，到底是怎么了？我很想完完全全的摸透我自己，可是却越来越不懂自己。经上说，只有祂懂我们的需要，因为祂是创造我的父。所以是祂懂我不需要这个人，不需要这段恋情，因为那不是我需要的？可是为什么我会很想回头？为什么我会伤心？为什么我不能面对他的种种？
我今天这么多的为什么其实代表我没有完完全全的信任祂。因为我怀疑祂所预备给我的。怀疑为什么是让我苦的。
心里有两个声音在拉扯。
一个是怀疑，一个是要我学习，记取教训。
一个是负面的，一个是真面的。
一个让我觉得痛苦，一个让我觉得舒服，解脱。
一个谴责着我，一个原谅我，给我机会。
一个让我灰心，绝望，一个给我希望，全新的希望。
一个让我抱怨，一个让我感恩。
一个是魔鬼，一个是上帝。
我是知道的。
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Gratify list:
1. My boss is thoughtful enough to help his lorry driver to park his motorbike in the office.
2. Soft spoken when i'm annoying with someone.
3. My smile still as sweet as usual.
4. I'm normal.
5. I can give advices to people and people are willing to listen to me.
6. I got the chance to get to know the whole procedure of purchasing department.
7. I'm busy and i enjoyed it.
8. I like delicious food and i eat a lot.
1. My boss is thoughtful enough to help his lorry driver to park his motorbike in the office.
2. Soft spoken when i'm annoying with someone.
3. My smile still as sweet as usual.
4. I'm normal.
5. I can give advices to people and people are willing to listen to me.
6. I got the chance to get to know the whole procedure of purchasing department.
7. I'm busy and i enjoyed it.
8. I like delicious food and i eat a lot.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
How to deal with anxiety
Have you ever noticed how often Peter emphasizes the practical application of the truths he is writing about? He has given instruction to the elders and now he warns of two problems which Christian leaders continually face.
The first is pride, the second is anxiety.
The clothes of humility (v. 5) should be worn by every Christian. God does not like proud people. To be proud means to think you are above everybody else in one area or another. Pride is possibly the commonest and worst form of sin.
When we see that pride is really the glorifying of self instead of Christ, we realize how wrong it is. The safest way to avoid pride is to continually give all the glory to Christ for everything.
The second problem Peter deals with is anxiety (v. 7). You can call it worry, or care or just plain sin. Deep in our hearts we know that worry is unbelief and distrust. When the circumstances are changed, we often acknowledge this fact when we say 'Father forgive us for not trusting you'.
What are some things we worry about? Family and business problems, finances, health, even matters in the church and our spiritual needs.
What should we do about these cares? We are to cast all our burdens on the Lord. It means to do it once and for all. Could we ever do this? When we resolve to do it, there will come from God the strength needed to do what he tells us to do.
And remember he cares for us. As someone said 'it matters to him about you'. The Christian faith is built on this great truth that we have a God who loves us and cares for us continually.
The first is pride, the second is anxiety.
The clothes of humility (v. 5) should be worn by every Christian. God does not like proud people. To be proud means to think you are above everybody else in one area or another. Pride is possibly the commonest and worst form of sin.
When we see that pride is really the glorifying of self instead of Christ, we realize how wrong it is. The safest way to avoid pride is to continually give all the glory to Christ for everything.
The second problem Peter deals with is anxiety (v. 7). You can call it worry, or care or just plain sin. Deep in our hearts we know that worry is unbelief and distrust. When the circumstances are changed, we often acknowledge this fact when we say 'Father forgive us for not trusting you'.
What are some things we worry about? Family and business problems, finances, health, even matters in the church and our spiritual needs.
What should we do about these cares? We are to cast all our burdens on the Lord. It means to do it once and for all. Could we ever do this? When we resolve to do it, there will come from God the strength needed to do what he tells us to do.
And remember he cares for us. As someone said 'it matters to him about you'. The Christian faith is built on this great truth that we have a God who loves us and cares for us continually.
他
我只能说他真的还不是适合你。
如果今天是他在国外，举办了一个疯狂派对，他，绝不会像他那样克制的住。
这样的人生，你不担心吗？
你说他不信任你，如果真的是因为他，你无话说，
如果是因为其他的原因，而他却字字不提，今天你也无话好说了。
既然他要你装着一头的问号离开，也无所谓了，你也没必要再厚着脸皮了。
我不会再记录你对我影响的种种了。
如果今天是他在国外，举办了一个疯狂派对，他，绝不会像他那样克制的住。
这样的人生，你不担心吗？
你说他不信任你，如果真的是因为他，你无话说，
如果是因为其他的原因，而他却字字不提，今天你也无话好说了。
既然他要你装着一头的问号离开，也无所谓了，你也没必要再厚着脸皮了。
我不会再记录你对我影响的种种了。
Monday, September 13, 2010
Someone
While i was moaning about the thing i missed. Someone else is worrying about me. Someone whose i just barely knew. Someone noticed the changes of my emotion. Someone asking me is everything alright. Someone prepared a surprise gift for me, telling me to treat myself nice. I felt so guilt towards myself, so wrong to keep other worrying about me.
Thank you someone.
Thank you someone.
流淚
| 「他們經過流淚谷，叫這谷變為泉源之地， 並有秋雨之福。」（詩84：6）很少有人知道流淚的意義和價值，一般人只知道流淚是受苦的表示，是弱者的行為。然而聖經卻講流淚的另一作用。當人肉體受傷的時候，流血，當人內心受傷的時候才流淚。不曉得流淚的人是剛硬和冷酷的人。因此不流淚的人，不容易了解人生的意義，世界的實情，就是對別人缺少同情和體恤，對自己也少有轉機和進深。 雖然流淚的原因各有不同，但總是真實的表達，是內心之窗，像小孩子一樣，是人們生來的天真。神對於祂兒女們的眼淚是很重視的，甚至裝在祂的皮袋裡（詩56：8）。流淚的祈禱常是蒙應允的禱告（王下20：5），我們的主在世上的時候也曾流淚（來5：7；約11：35；路19：41）。先知耶利米和使徒們也多是常常流淚的（耶9：1；哀2：11；3：48；徒20：19，31；林後2：4）。 凡往錫安大道的都要經過流淚谷，雖然是艱難、困苦、憂傷的所在，但經過之後，這谷就變為泉源之地，並有秋雨之福，可以流出喜樂，甘甜之水結出佳美，幸福之果，使自己的生命有改變，在屬靈的道路上更向前進。眼淚不但流出了自己的罪惡污穢，並變成安慰醫治的膏油，眼淚將來要變成珍珠。 |
出人意外的平安
不要以為神的保護就是將艱難挫折挪去，那並不一定是好的保護方式，神更多時候是保守人的心懷意念，叫人能以神的心意來看眼前的艱難，使人不致在艱難挫折中被魔鬼試探而跌倒。
神保守人的心懷意念，賜人出人意外的平安。內裡有一顆平安的心，就能在艱難中仍然喜樂。平安之所以是出人意外，那是因為我們明明沒有能力在難關面前淡然處之，但偏偏我們就能夠喜樂，這正好說明了神的保守。
當我們的心懷意念得神的保守，我們就能做到「應當一無掛慮，只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求，和感謝，將你們所要的告訴神。」所以，若我們懂得禱告和感恩，便已表達了一種信念，表示相信神會保護我們。
多少人在患難當中不能夠禱告，不曉得禱告，不願意禱告；多少人在痛苦當中怨天尤人，不懂得感恩，不知道感恩，到頭來一切或輕或重的擔子，都由自己承擔。對於這些不曉得禱告感恩的人，出人意外的平安是絕無僅有的事。當你嚐過出人意外的平安的滋味，你便知道神的保護是甚麼一回事了。
神保守人的心懷意念，賜人出人意外的平安。內裡有一顆平安的心，就能在艱難中仍然喜樂。平安之所以是出人意外，那是因為我們明明沒有能力在難關面前淡然處之，但偏偏我們就能夠喜樂，這正好說明了神的保守。
當我們的心懷意念得神的保守，我們就能做到「應當一無掛慮，只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求，和感謝，將你們所要的告訴神。」所以，若我們懂得禱告和感恩，便已表達了一種信念，表示相信神會保護我們。
多少人在患難當中不能夠禱告，不曉得禱告，不願意禱告；多少人在痛苦當中怨天尤人，不懂得感恩，不知道感恩，到頭來一切或輕或重的擔子，都由自己承擔。對於這些不曉得禱告感恩的人，出人意外的平安是絕無僅有的事。當你嚐過出人意外的平安的滋味，你便知道神的保護是甚麼一回事了。
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
目標
| 保羅承認，要達到基督為我們定的生活目標是很難的。但我們沒有理由放棄。保羅描述他總是向著最終的目標直奔。 | ||
| 12這不是說我已經得著了，已經完全了；而是竭力追求，或許可以得著基督耶穌所要我得著的。 13弟兄們，我不是以為自己已經得著了；我只做一件事，就是忘記背後，努力追求前面的， 14向著標竿直跑，為要得上帝在基督耶穌裡從上面召我來得的獎賞。 15所以，我們中間凡是成熟的人，總要存這樣的心；若在甚麼事上存別樣的心，上帝也會把這事指示你們。 16然而，我們達到甚麼地步，就當照這個地步行。 17弟兄們，你們要一同效法我，也當留意看那些效法我們榜樣的人。 18因為，我屢次告訴你們，現在又流淚告訴你們：許多人行事是基督十字架的仇敵。 19他們的結局就是滅亡。他們的神是自己的肚腹；他們以自己的羞辱為光榮，專以地上的事為念。 20我們卻是天上的國民，並且等候救主，就是主耶穌基督從天上降臨。 21他要按著那能使萬有歸服自己的大能，把我們這卑賤的身體改變形狀，和他自己榮耀的身體相似。 腓立比書3:12-21 我是不是盡我的能力向著這目標直奔？ |
Do you know?
Do you know that in Sarawak Labour Ordinance, it stated that:
Public Holiday
We have 16 days of public holiday (in which 4 are including National Day, Birthday of the Yang di Pertuan Agong, Birthday of the Yang di Pertua Negeri Sarawak and the Workers’ ). Provided that the other 12 public holidays be fixed regard to the religion and customs of the employees before the commencement of each calendar year. Plus any day declared as public holiday by the Government of the state.
Working on Public Holiday
If you are working on Public Holiday, you’ll be paid double wages regardless the period of work done on that day is less than the normal day.
If your working hour on that day excess the normal hours of work on normal day, you shall be paid at a rate which is not less than 3 times rate of pay. This means at least 3 times the pay.
You will be entitled to travelling allowance for that day.
Annual Leave
While you are taking annual leave, ended up taking sick leave or maternity leave, you shall be granted the sick leave or maternity leave instead of annual leave. you save the annual leave.
Annual leave is excluding 2dys CNY leaves. CNY suppose to be counted as Public Holiday! DUDE!
I'm not that big actually.
I always look myself too "big". Or self-centered. Always thought that someone need me so much. Like if they don't have me, hardly they can survived.
Yeah Yeah.....i know i am super arrogant.
So that's why i am bothered by this.Cause it makes me worried a lot which i'm not really enjoyed by it.
I keep everything for myself. Especially bad feelings.
And i always do something hasty. What came into my mind immediately i'll convert it into action. Then regret for the thing i did. I'm trying to find a good solution to solve this problem. Cause i don't want to correct it back only until one day i've done something very very bad or bringing any serious consequences.
In conclusion:
I'm only human. I've limitation. I'm weak. I can do nothing only by me. Cast all your anxieties and burdens to Him and let Him guide you. Let Him be your Father and be their Father too. By then we'll all living under by Him. He will take care all of us. So you don't have to worry.
Yeah Yeah.....i know i am super arrogant.
So that's why i am bothered by this.Cause it makes me worried a lot which i'm not really enjoyed by it.
I keep everything for myself. Especially bad feelings.
And i always do something hasty. What came into my mind immediately i'll convert it into action. Then regret for the thing i did. I'm trying to find a good solution to solve this problem. Cause i don't want to correct it back only until one day i've done something very very bad or bringing any serious consequences.
In conclusion:
I'm only human. I've limitation. I'm weak. I can do nothing only by me. Cast all your anxieties and burdens to Him and let Him guide you. Let Him be your Father and be their Father too. By then we'll all living under by Him. He will take care all of us. So you don't have to worry.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
何不放手？
神極願意施恩給祂的兒女，但他們卻常常自作主張，不肯依靠祂。
要到幾時?
令人難以忍受的，往往是問題長久未得解決。「主啊，要到幾時？」
無疑，約瑟被屈枉囚於牢獄時，必有同感；
神的延遲是為了叫我們長大成熟。我們的時間在祂的手中，所以，
主啊，我只想說，很高興你聽了我的禱告。求你賜我力量堅持下去。
無疑，約瑟被屈枉囚於牢獄時，必有同感；
神的延遲是為了叫我們長大成熟。我們的時間在祂的手中，所以，
主啊，我只想說，很高興你聽了我的禱告。求你賜我力量堅持下去。
03.09.2010-Jennie's Big day!
Dear Jennie,
Although i can't witness the happiest moment on your big day, but i managed to come out some love songs for your wedding's video. Though i do not know whether they'll use all of the songs. I am so excited and happy for you, maybe because you're the first of my hometown course mate getting married.
Special dedicated to you and your loved one.
Love Of My Life by Jim Brickman
By Heart By Soul by Avalon & Aaron Neville
If You were a road
I'd learn every turn til I
Could find my way with my eyes closed
If You were a song
I'd sing along til I
Knew every word and every note
But you were everything to me
A mystery
Your the Love I live to see
CHORUS
By heart, by soul
Thats how I want to know You
Keep you as close as
Breath is to life
Wanna watch Your Love unfold
By heart, by soul
If You were a place
I'd stay my whole life til I
Had every corner memorized
And if You were a star
I'f follow You home, You would be
The Light that is my only guide
You were everything to me
My A to Z
Your the Love thats lives in me
Bridge:
I wanna know You inside and out
Better than I even know myself
CHORUS x 2
By heart, by soul
Thats how I want to know You
Keep you as close as
Breath is to life
Wanna watch Your Love unfold
By heart, by soul
If You were a star
I'd follow You home by heart
By soul
Waltz for Jennifer by FFH
Another long day is gone
And I'm ready for another long night
Where I'll be by your side
Another long day will come
And I'll thank Jesus that I am alive and
That He made you mine
CHORUS
We belong together you and me
Holding on tight like lock and key
Going strong the way this love should be our fantasy
And I'm so glad that God made me for you and you for me
I'm having that dream
Where we are walking together along
With the sand in our feet
And I'm awake and I realize it wasn't a dream
It was reality
CHORUS x 2
We belong together you and me
Holding on tight like lock and key
Going strong the way this love should be our fantasy
And I'm so glad that God made me for you and you for me
I'm so glad the God made me for you and you for me
Holding Hands by Steve Green
Unfailing Love by Jimmy Needham
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
沒有一人為自己活
信心軟弱的，你們要接納，但不要辯論所疑惑的事。羅馬書十四1
對付自我有另一個好的方法，就是把整個生命追求的焦點轉變，
對付自我有另一個好的方法，就是把整個生命追求的焦點轉變，
「為主而活」就是所作的一切事，都是關心主的反應， 你的生命是否仍是為主而活呢？是否感到非常吃力， |
要有眼光
有時你會覺得神引領你所走的道路，你受不了。那是決不可能的事，
Monday, September 6, 2010
No. I won't
I'm not that kinda gal that would cry months and months because of you dumping me.
I choose to continue my life as usual, just without you.
I was wondering just now, what would you think about me if you read my hahahaha post on the facebook.
I could imagine your expression when the time you claimed on me that i could let go a 6 years relationship in just a click of time. The words are just so weighty.
So here comes again this kinda expression appear in my mind when i tried to picture your response.
Would it be better for you if i can go on my life normal or even better, without you?
The main reason i didn't want to be active in facebook is because of you. Cause i'm afraid it will effect you. Cause of the words that you said before. I'm afraid you'll judge me again like that. So i gave myself a lot of lame excuses to not doing anything on my facebook which i feel i'm so stupid when i typed this out.
I see myself too important for you didn't i? Funny me. Stupid me.
I'll let you go, slowly. Until one day in future, i can still give you a big hug and a sweetest smile when you bring alone your girlfriend to introduce to me. Or during your big day. Perhaps no hug anymore.
I trusted you as a guy that keep promise. I remembered what you've promise that night. So do i to you.
I choose to continue my life as usual, just without you.
I was wondering just now, what would you think about me if you read my hahahaha post on the facebook.
I could imagine your expression when the time you claimed on me that i could let go a 6 years relationship in just a click of time. The words are just so weighty.
So here comes again this kinda expression appear in my mind when i tried to picture your response.
Would it be better for you if i can go on my life normal or even better, without you?
The main reason i didn't want to be active in facebook is because of you. Cause i'm afraid it will effect you. Cause of the words that you said before. I'm afraid you'll judge me again like that. So i gave myself a lot of lame excuses to not doing anything on my facebook which i feel i'm so stupid when i typed this out.
I see myself too important for you didn't i? Funny me. Stupid me.
I'll let you go, slowly. Until one day in future, i can still give you a big hug and a sweetest smile when you bring alone your girlfriend to introduce to me. Or during your big day. Perhaps no hug anymore.
I trusted you as a guy that keep promise. I remembered what you've promise that night. So do i to you.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
要喜乐
虽然我和他分开了，虽然我有多么得不舍得，虽然我是多么的心痛，虽然我是多么的伤心，但这些都会过去的。世界没有因此而停下。生命还是得继续，所有人都一样，包括他。
心里时不时还是会空虚，很心酸，更会想起以前的种种。现下能做的是努力把它变成美好的回忆。没必要破坏一切，毕竟那是我整个大学的记忆。大学有太对太多更美好的回忆，所以不要因为他而丢下一切。
我知道靠我一个人的力量我是非常有限的。也非常的软弱。但是靠着那加给我力量的，对我来说是不可能的也会变可能。我相信借着信靠祂，我能重新得力的。
首先我要先学习喜乐。要每天都喜乐。不管任何困难，给祂都不是问题。而祂又是我的父亲，我还怕什么呢？父亲最渴望的莫过于祂的儿女开心。做儿女的开心，做父亲的也一定会很欣慰。
心里时不时还是会空虚，很心酸，更会想起以前的种种。现下能做的是努力把它变成美好的回忆。没必要破坏一切，毕竟那是我整个大学的记忆。大学有太对太多更美好的回忆，所以不要因为他而丢下一切。
我知道靠我一个人的力量我是非常有限的。也非常的软弱。但是靠着那加给我力量的，对我来说是不可能的也会变可能。我相信借着信靠祂，我能重新得力的。
首先我要先学习喜乐。要每天都喜乐。不管任何困难，给祂都不是问题。而祂又是我的父亲，我还怕什么呢？父亲最渴望的莫过于祂的儿女开心。做儿女的开心，做父亲的也一定会很欣慰。
Saturday, September 4, 2010
洗脸记
今天终于鼓起勇气去洗脸了。很好笑吧？！人家应该很喜欢去洗脸吧？可我真的很怕洗脸。因为懂自己皮肤很差。而且还遇过洗了脸之后，豆豆狂生！几乎把我的脸给毁了！
最近真的真的皮肤越来越差。想说再用用NU SKIN试试看（之前用过了会引豆，可是因为是很贵买的所以很不甘心）。结果也不知是自己情绪影响皮肤还是那产品，总之就是不堪入眼。
今天还没去美容院前就一直祷告。就连脱好衣服换好便服躺在床上，心里还是很害怕。果然痛是免不了的。接着就是美容师的问长问短，然后哗然我的脸怎么那么糟糕！当下真的觉得很委屈。挤呀挤呀，痛到泪水都流出来了。有些泪水是委屈的。当感觉她用针刺破我的皮肤时，虽然没有很痛，可是真的很可怜我的脸。为什么要这样被糟蹋？进行到一半时我还安慰自己，很快了，很快就会结束了。
完事后果然，全脸红肿。她还说如果那几粒大的明天发脓就把它轻轻挤一挤就好了!真的很委屈。挨了痛，挨了批评，挨了荷包，结果还得承受它发脓。。。
真的很委屈。很难过。谁又会了解？
最近真的真的皮肤越来越差。想说再用用NU SKIN试试看（之前用过了会引豆，可是因为是很贵买的所以很不甘心）。结果也不知是自己情绪影响皮肤还是那产品，总之就是不堪入眼。
今天还没去美容院前就一直祷告。就连脱好衣服换好便服躺在床上，心里还是很害怕。果然痛是免不了的。接着就是美容师的问长问短，然后哗然我的脸怎么那么糟糕！当下真的觉得很委屈。挤呀挤呀，痛到泪水都流出来了。有些泪水是委屈的。当感觉她用针刺破我的皮肤时，虽然没有很痛，可是真的很可怜我的脸。为什么要这样被糟蹋？进行到一半时我还安慰自己，很快了，很快就会结束了。
完事后果然，全脸红肿。她还说如果那几粒大的明天发脓就把它轻轻挤一挤就好了!真的很委屈。挨了痛，挨了批评，挨了荷包，结果还得承受它发脓。。。
真的很委屈。很难过。谁又会了解？
Friday, September 3, 2010
好恨你！
心里有好多好多的苦毒！！！！！！
好难受！好难过!
我知道魔鬼已经在一旁偷笑了!
这是我能发泄的地方了！
要我中秋节和你们又说有笑！
真的好难！
我好想辞掉！
谁能了解我？
我活该！！！
心里好不平衡，时好时坏。
应该是我掌控我自己的情绪，而不是情绪掌控我！
为什么做不出来？
为什么活在世属的眼光下?
为什么有那么完全的唯一一位你不去投靠？
祂永远也不会丢下你的！也永远不会离开你的！更不会去世，因为祂已经是神了！祂可以无时无刻都和我粘在一起的，只要我不驱赶祂离开我。祂愿意的！为什么你就不去投靠祂反而要世属的？？
好难受！好难过!
我知道魔鬼已经在一旁偷笑了!
这是我能发泄的地方了！
要我中秋节和你们又说有笑！
真的好难！
我好想辞掉！
谁能了解我？
我活该！！！
心里好不平衡，时好时坏。
应该是我掌控我自己的情绪，而不是情绪掌控我！
为什么做不出来？
为什么活在世属的眼光下?
为什么有那么完全的唯一一位你不去投靠？
祂永远也不会丢下你的！也永远不会离开你的！更不会去世，因为祂已经是神了！祂可以无时无刻都和我粘在一起的，只要我不驱赶祂离开我。祂愿意的！为什么你就不去投靠祂反而要世属的？？