Friday, July 29, 2011

痛。

Thursday, July 28, 2011

23/7/11-25/7/11

第一天早上我起得早要去喂猫,发现原来阿姨比我早一步。
所以我第二天不早了,因为我知道我一定早不过她。

他带我兜风买报纸,我觉得很家。 很Sarawak.
早上吃着干盘面,很家的感觉,还有杏仁水喝,多久没听过这个名称了。


我告诉他我起得早,他一副亏欠我的模样似的问我不好睡吗?让我心爽爽。
我告诉他我没冲到热水因为我不会用热水器,他demo给我看。
结果之后每天早上我冲凉,他都会在外头喊有热水吗?怕我冻到似的。
我心很暖和。虽然还是冲着冷水。
因为我调不来。

我喝了几杯水他也知道,因为他一直端水给我怕我渴到似的。
我没带t shirt,他带我去他衣橱要我选,好像他的衣服我会选到眼花缭乱似的。
陪不到我看电影他会问说怎么办,电影没看到。。。我想说新加坡很容易下载戏的。
没肚子装下mee manggi,他问我要吃面吗?一起吃,他煮给我吃。。。我说你胃口都比我小,我都撑着的,你怎么可能还吃得下?新加坡吃得到mee manggi 的。

知道我爱狗,看到路边有狗,他说呐,那里有狗,要下去抱吗?
家里的灯他很喜欢的,他会一一开了给我看,献宝似的。
我爱吃棕子,他随路买了粒给我,然后吃了他说不好吃,我自己吃完觉得不错叻。

他是乎享受把我介绍给他朋友认识,而且大家是乎都听过我。
我要吃罐头所以有一餐他买了我要吃的罐头大家一起吃。不过他不让我吃完,他说很咸。
我唯有妥协。不过我第二天上飞机前后悔了,因为我还想吃。

唯有脚底按摩服务还好,因为被不壮的男人按。
睡前按是最理想。下次可以按个全身的。

知道我爱吹海风,带我去死鬼风大的海边,把我毛吹得鸡皮疙瘩的。
他说那天分风特别大。说是我很会带风。

没有怪念头的他陪我吃猫粮。因为我要试,所以他一定也要试。
他的无奈兼想拒绝的表情让我心情愉快。他——还是吃了。

懂我爱驾车,把他的车给我驾。他胆子还蛮大的。
不过驾住车真的让我回忆自己在家的自由及幸福。怀念。

我用电脑用到头都要贴上银幕了都给他发现到,原来我自己习惯近视没带眼镜头要亲上了电脑还不知道。

我看电视看到爱睡,他也会察觉到。
我在外头玩猫他也知道。
连我在扎马用马桶他也懂,问我是不是。

原来他的眼睛都在我身上。

唯有我晒了内裤在房间他没发现到。

带我去见他的办公室。走在走廊上心里想,我也有今天,可以光明正大的见识见识。
看到他的座位别有一番心情。
奇怪问他为什么他要有两架电脑,他说他得画图表。
看住这不懂内行会以为很风光的地方,心里觉得真的是很可悲。
心里问,是不是就是这两架电脑搞到他眼睛不适?把它给砸了!(说罢了,孬)
想象下是怎么样的情形下他会搞成这样?就是那种不顾天昏地暗的工作。我难以想象的程度。
得到的又是什么?失去的又是什么?
可悲人为了生活,为五斗米弯腰。
心里见义勇为的责任感就不知觉浮现。
心疼。

感谢他的泄漏秘诀要为我争取好福利,不过自己心里真的需要适调。
感谢他的包吃包住包温暖。
谢谢你,你真的是个好男人。
认识你真的很感恩很蒙福很幸福。

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

22/7/11

飞机延迟了1个钟多。去机场的路上真的是惊吓连连。因为下雨兼自己怠慢所以出门慢了,当下心还不着急叻。After texting with Jason and he asked me how long the journey后我才有些怕,而且地铁也迟迟不来。上了地铁抬头看一看标图,发现原来要换站. That means i need to wait another train again. 终于上了去机场的地铁才放下心来,算一算应该刚刚好。坐在地铁上欣赏着窗外的景色。原来这条路还是第一次走过。很多大大的厂,住宅区也少了,shopping mall也少。会感觉到这真的像是一条去机场的路线。心在想,如果现在是我要完全打包离开新加坡,我还真的会不舍。我怀念这里的拥挤,这里的赶,这里的繁华,这里不礼貌的人,这里那一张张无奈的脸孔。会想起自己是怎样的来,怎样的度过过渡期,怎样的安抚一次又一次的不安。我告诉自己真的要体验当下,因为同样的心情是不会再重复。这次从美里回来后,真的要开开心心的过每天的生活,生活是多么精彩!而且最重要得是我不会在这里呆久的,这我很清楚的知道,所已要捉紧机会体验,不然以后没那么好得机会了!

到了机场发现有3个terminal,而且是不同地方!心里咒骂了下脏话,继续努力的去东张西望找指标。步伐也不知觉得越来越快,毕竟不晓得还有多远距离才会到。也不去理另一头的他了。走了约5分钟发现原来还得搭地铁去terminal 1!心理又骂了脏话,脚步不停的去找地铁站。还得等,地铁还没来。看看时间,好像已经来不及了。希望只要在boarding time 之前到就okay.毕竟太久没搭飞机,不记得到底可以拖延多久。心里祷告希望来得急,不然后果不堪设想。浪费机票之于,他一定会生气的,因为他早就提醒我早到比较保险可是我不当一回事。

上了地铁还好路途不远,一会儿就到。好大的机场,又是念了脏话然后查看电视银幕上的counter。这个时候近视不戴眼镜真的是火上加油,什么远处的都是一片模糊。Counter airasia, ONLY airasia counters were full with crowd. No way to sneak in. I couldn't see the entry. After telling the officer that i need to do my document check up then she asked me to queue the line. 匆匆忙忙的赶到gate,need to queue again at the immigration counter! Bloody long Q. Eyeing on the direction where to go while waiting my turn. After the immigration, i followed the signal....the signal says G15-10 MINUTES WALK! 再重复一遍脏话。一路快步走...看到一路的Shopping mall...把口水擦干继续不回头的走。真的要十分钟,没骗我。到了关口没几只小猫,抬头一看银幕哪儿写住的时间是整整又慢了2个钟。终于不用赶了。不过真的又气又好笑。真的是对住自己傻笑。气真的好赶,好笑的是我又好命的逃过赶不上飞机这回事。出来上个厕所,心里还是惦着shopping mall,买不到磁铁,买不到香水。算了不回头了,怕等下又得一路再走回来,懒惰。

Called back to him telling him the story and chitchat a while. There was women in front of me kept on looking at me. So rude. Thought i would afraid if she kept on looking on me, so i looked her back without hanging up the phone. Then she stopped doing that. Haha...i laughed in my heart! I won.

Wait for quite a long time in the plane before depart. I was very hungry. But no more food on the plane so i had myself ribena. Only when i touched down Miri then i started to feel nervous. And felt like to pee.

He was there in the airport waiting for me. We had finally make it. He took my bag and he opened his arm, we had our 1st hug. Alone the way back to his house, everything was new for me, even him. But he gave me the warm feeling. We joked in the car, i kocou him and he smiled hihihi...These all made me feel comfortable. I actually worried about my pimples, but he never bother to pay attention on it (i think so), or he was just smart enough not to mention about it. Cause he read my blog i assumed.

His mom is a lovely lady. She didn't talk much but she loves him.  i just can feelit. She prepared a pot of Ba Zhen Tang for us which ended up i finished it all in 2 days. 我吃了很多很多白饭,比他们任何一人都多。我的食量几乎是他们的两到三倍,希望没吓倒他们。家常饭真的让我吃的很开心,也很窝心。他好像很爱看我吃饭。好像要看穿我到底是什么样的一位姑娘,既然有如此大的胃口。还是心想有那么好吃吗?我心里真的是吃得很开心,很满足。和我吃过饭的应该都会体会我这种雀跃。他要我洗碗,让我觉得自己又不像客人。时不时问我要不要帮他妈的忙,让我觉得不好意思,毕竟还没混熟,而且他妈还满少说话,都不晓得人家等下会嫌我烦吗?不过他不念时,我到乐得跑去厨房帮忙切切青葱蒜。我的刀艺还真没退步叻~真喜欢切。

吃完饭,冲完凉,换上他的t shirt他带我去山上看风景吹风。第一天过得很愉快,很轻松.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

心里总觉得怪怪的。

那天和他冷战了之后,他似乎就不再那么粘我了。
或许是要给我多点自由吧。
不过心有些不舒服。

我不喜欢他故意又对回我冷淡。因为那会让我觉得他不真。
我不喜欢他霸住我所有的时间。因为那会让我喘不过气,
(很矛盾,我想应该是在拿捏上我还捉不准。。)
让我没有自己的私人空间,我还不是很习惯没有自己空间这一回事。
我很怕没有自己的私人空间,尤其是当我很负面情绪时更加需要。
我不喜欢我感觉不能掌控自己,我会很沮丧。

我喜欢他粘我,因为我一直以来都不愿意承认我喜欢被人粘。我不说以为我就能否认它。
喜欢他是可以独立自主的粘,是那种他粘我纯粹是因为喜欢我的同在。
我喜欢他宠我,因为那是最直接的让我感受到他对我的重视。
不是那种什么都依我,而是清楚知道什么是对我好的才宠。
可是当我不好的情绪来到时,我还真的不能很理性的做到接受上面那一点。
这一点我还待改善。他真的原意和我一起走吗?天下真有免费的午餐吗?
虽然他一再的给我确认,可是自己还是得面壁思过,不要再重复,不然那会很可悲。
我喜欢他体贴我。因为我觉得自己被了解。至少他知道我是会和自己闹脾气的人。
当我在钻牛角尖时,当我硬要他妥协我当下的情绪时,
他选择不去责怪我,而是接受我不知从哪儿来的怪情绪,自己吞下我的无理取闹。
我喜欢他说要和我一起探索我内心不为人知的想法及情绪。
因为他让我看到希望,前面的路不孤单,有他陪我,感觉窝心,很温暖。

这个部落格写了好多咚咚很精彩。
不过我希望写的主角可以是固定的,
让追戏的可以看得明白,
让写作的可以专心在主角上的戏份,
让演戏的可以乐在其中。

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

To do list

To do list
  • Eat home cook meals Done
  • Watch at least 1 movie
  • Massaging (either foot or body) Done
  • Going to beach Done
  • Learn Pivot table and V look up Done
  • Open communication session Done
  • Church together Done

Optional to do list
  • Eat tomatao flavor chips (can't remember my favourite brand)
  • play with dogs (cats instead)
  • outside meals Done
  • jogging
  • feel the strong wing (IF have) Done
  • visiting SHExx Done




Being reminded to continue writing my blog. I looked back the last post, it was 2 weeks before.

Update here...

I switched my place to another Bedok area. The house was windy and sometimes me and my roommate felt cold even in the middle of our sleeps. The room was not small, enough for us to sleep and move around. The landlady was not very friendly so we decided to ignore her poker face and just go on our activities. I am luckily actually cause every weekend my roommate will go back to JB leaving me alone. I love and enjoy being alone.

I got a smartphone finally! With 12GB data plan which means that i can online 24 hours using my phone IF the line is always in perfect mode. Signing a 2 years contract with 700 minutes plan per month ended up the new phone only costs $148. Super cheap.

I had an argument with J last night. I just have no idea what i want. Messy mind i think. Afraid of been commited yet loving the way he treats me. Well, there is no free lunch, i know. Everything comes with a pay.  I've been focusing too much on him, job and me myself. Not achieving a spritually, mentally and physically balance pulled me to the edge of the room. So he is unlucky cause i exploded last night. Poor dear..is good too to let him know my dark side.

Again, stop asking what i want and what i am thinking. Cause i've no idea too. And i don't know how to cope with it when it is involving with J too. I can't think of a best way other than silent.

I think is time for him to read it.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

我喜欢上一个男孩。
他是在我毫无预警下所认识到的。
我没想过我会喜欢上他。
更觉得他根本就不是认真的,时间一过,他应该就会脱手。

刚认识时,他的冲动是多过我,慢慢的自己也陷在其中。
他让我欲罢不能的是他的一颗想了解我的心。
我还真的是第一次遇到一个这么样的男孩。
一个彻底想了解女人的一个男人是真的会让女人招架不住。
还有我们所有的经历,也是其中让我们有更多进步的空间。
感谢过去所留下的价值,感恩啊。

虽然现下说我们会在一起是言之过早,不过我感恩从他身上体会到不一样的风情。
算是一个见识吧,让我认识到他。
前面的路还很长很多跛折,我是有些害怕。
不过如果没有苦难,就辨别不到苦和甜的极端滋味。
更不用说晓得什么是珍惜。

上帝可真的会和我开玩笑。
不过他不变的还是一样:他给我的失望是有盼望的。

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My bestie!! The green arrow one. SHE IS PREGNANT!!!!!

I'm so happy for her!! So So So HAPPY. Too bad i can't give her a hug and shake her hands saying congragulation. I feel so old cause my primary mate already started perut buncit...

Anyway, you make my day!! Cheers~

Monday, July 4, 2011

Having an orientation to a new manager today. So helpless cause after i finished orientation then i knew his position is actually in a new department. I really have no idea where to put him with. My big boss is taking leave today, so i have no one to ask for. So sorry for that guy. Even the departmental orientation, i couldn't arrange for him immediately. Then what about the next few days for this week?? Squeezing my brain to think of what should i do...but i have my own task to do too, can't spend too much time on that. And i still have 100 plus emails to read and to screen for, and the no is still increasing...i have 4 positions need to fill in, i have 4 more orientations for new comers, and the no. is increasing too; i have a PRC need to apply for permit which is solely new for me, i have to sit in couple of interviews again, and some spontaneous daily issues.

Mm..i guess that's all what i need to do recently.