fellowship

I went to the fellowship tonight. The feeling was not the same any more. A lot of new faces, a lot of changes; some are pregnant, some are getting married and some are in relationship!

Nothing last forever. But memory does.

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终于回家了

Reaching my own house in Sibu finallY! Home is the place where you were born and brought up when you were very very young. Home is the only place that is free from tension and stress. Home sweet home!

I love my mum chicken soup and her cooking~! The soup that previously i think normal now to me is super delicious. A very good way to make you appreciate home and family more is to be apart from them for a period of time. Then you will know how blessed you were when family is with you. A one year move to Singapore, i lost 1 dog. She was sick and died with no body to be found. Mum said maybe someone clear for us. This morning when i was in my dad's car when he picked me from the airport, i feel grateful, cause my dad he got old a bit but at least he is still there. And my mum too, sacrifice so much for the family and she really is my no 1 superwomen. No one else can beat her. Thank God that He knows what i want and bring me back. Looking back my 最后一夜 and 回家, can't believe how i made it to this stage. God is so great!

So far only few people kept on asking me why i came back. But i am sick to explain to them. If there are aim good then i don't mind telling them but if i sensed that they are like wanting to see me telling them how bitter i am over there and i couldn't take it anymore so i came back then this group of people- you were totally wrong! I will only tell you go and try if you want to find out.

My JL is cute. I know he is doing all this because he cares me, but with his way. So my next task is to get to use to my new job and new place with him and then wait patiently see what God wants me to do again. 

Tiring day today. In the state of getting use to new things. Having a house owner who is my boyfriend is not easy. I feel tension with him. He has a lot of comments here and there. I am getting more and more quiet. I don't know whether this situation will keep going or what. The idea of wanting to be more independent growing inside me. 

I can't have an open and proper communication with him. I don't know how to deal with it. A lot of time i choose to be quiet and think. It seems like things didn't really look like what i thought. Every time there is disagreement, i doubt. 

Lord please give me wisdom to teach me to walk to your plan. 

Yesterday at this time i was busy for my last packing. And tonight i am in a comfy room, unpacking my luggage with a very peace mind. I have a lot of thank God things would like to share with:-

• Thank God for putting me into Singapore. The preparation of going there pull me so much closer to God.
• Thank God for giving me all the difficult times in Singapore. That makes me even clearer for what i want. That makes me clear that Singapore is not my place. That built me a better person.
• Thank God for sending so many angels to me. Every time when i fall down, there is always someone or something who/that God sent to help me walk through.
• Thank God for sending me Jason. To be frank, he is the main pusher of me wanting back so badly. Because of him, i set a very clear target for my own life.
• Thank God for walk me through all the hard times in Singapore and taught me to be strong and be patient to wait for your plan. 
• Thanks God that on the last week of my working day, i see what i had bring to them, which really made me feel so worth to hold on everything with faith instead of giving up so easily. 
• Thank God for chosen me to be the one to be trained. 

I am in Miri now. I will go back to Sibu for a short break then i will start a brand new day again back in Miri. Thanks for everyone. And everything.

waiting for shower

I couldn't count how many nights I've spent waiting for my turn to get shower. ...wasting time to just wait even though I was so tired. From very angry from the very beginning till nothing I can do feeling. .it was just numb...no point to be angry cause I couldn't change any. But the tiredness in mentally is growing bigger and bigger, that's why I dislike singapore so much.  I could even cursed them for what had they did. Especially their selfishness, I have no Mercy at all towards them. All I left was the hatred.

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farewell

I will be moving back to sarawak this sunday. To my surprise, a lot of unexpected colleagues treated me lunch as farewell.  I felt touched. It came when I least expected.  I just wanna tell you that I am grateful and how blessed I am.

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Toilet bowl is hungry

Last night when i was having late shower, i accidentally dropped my roommate's small bottle of facial cleanser into the toilet bowl. When it stopped rolling, the position of the bottle was like below photo:-

I then tried to pick it up..the bowl was so slippery (>.< felt disgusting) that it slid into deeper where i couldn't see it anymore.... I tried to use the toilet brush to brush it out, it didn't work. Finally i flushed the toilet. The reason why i flushed it was because i had the experience of dropping soak into toilet before. And when i flushed, the soak would keep appeared again, i thought this work to bottle too...It didn't. Wondering is the bottle has been flushed into the shit hole? OMG....

I am in deep guilt.

闹新郎

Is funny nowadays more and more people having "play the groom" culture when getting married. Those videos that we can easily access on the web, well, especially on facebook, are all the same. I mean the same damn fucking games and the ancient tactics. Yes, some of it really have caught up meaningful scenes on screen, which were really worth to share with.

But there are some "tactics" that i hardly approved...

One of it is the idiot "vow"

What's wrong with the bridge's brain? You really think by writing those unreasonable "everything-belongs-to-you-agreement" and asked the groom to acknowledge it with a lips mark will gonna make your marriage goes smooth? And make your life easy? Really? All the money goes to you blindly? Do you really think you will benefit on it? Oh C'mon girl! If he is sincere, he will always be sincere. If he is not, he will NOT no matter what he has promised UNLESS you made it a legal document and get a proper lawyer to do it for you like the celebrities out there, but then again, what's the meaning of getting married? Is your marriage, NOT your so called 好姐妹's (or i called 鸡婆) playground. Asked them fuck off to play with their own partner!

Okay, if you're just having it to kill time to make your marriage ceremony more "meriah", which is so superficial and yet you never thought something wrong, probably your chosen groom will enjoy it with you too. Well, have fun then. Indeed good couple.

If you think "Oh, this is the only last time for you to play hide and catch with your partner and you kinda wanna let him know that it's not easy to have your heart, he has to appreciate you and what so ever", again, IF HE IS SINCERE, HE WILL ALWAYS. IF HE IS NOT, NOT MATTER HOW MUCH PATTERN YOU PLAYED, YOU GOT NOTHING IN THE END STILL.

Am sure if you love your husband, you won't want him to keep on disturbed by your "好姐妹" on his big day. Remember, is not only you having a big day, so does he.

If you're having the mindset that he is the one "untung", then don't botther to married hIM! Since you feel so "rugi" by thinking that he's "untung-ing"

No offence, if you like it, just go ahead. After all is your marriage and is your life. Above are just my personal view. And i kept it so long already,真的是一吐为快！