desire makes me miserable!

I felt awful when i heard that he said we were just friend and nothing else in front of his friend. This is the n times i cried because of him. Told myself don't be so weak but still cannot control myself. I know is not his fault cause i also said like that when people came and asked me about our relationship. But, do you know that this is not my real answer? Because i know that you don't want to have commitment with me. You don't want to take any responsibilities on it. So i respect you, am following on what you wish for. At the end...i'm the one suffering so much. Shouldn't blame him. Is all my fault. Spoilt him a lot. And i found that this is not what i want. This is not the way i want to follow. We are having different thinking and opinion on many things. I kept on following him, accepting what he wants and do according what he wants. Now i realized my problem. I thought i agreed with his opinion. But i was wrong. I like him. I love him. I wanna him to become my man. Am started to have desire on him. And the desire makes me miserable!