I feel suffocated at times. By the hectic lifestyle, all the responsibilities and commitments. One thing is clear, i am not someone who is irresponsible or easily give up to everything.

I figured it out a bit by myself.  When i am in the "suffocated" or stress mood, everything seems not right for me. Everything.  Just everything. I think because at that moment, the "my feeling" is taking control of my mind. And the only feeling that comes most of the time is all negetive/bad feeling. That explain why i easily get frustrated especially when talking over the phone with him. I assumed that he should unerstand my feeling and comfort me. But the thing is he is he. He is male. He never know how fast a woman can change their mood and he can't catch my thinking too. Rarely can spot the right one. In the end he always felt being fooled by me which makes me want to escape more from those bad feeling.

What to do? The more i tell him, i feel like the more i need to explain. And if i can't make good explanation, then everything started to be complicated. The intention is just a girl-boyfriend daily sharing...but ended up all the miserable feeling. Recently having the better-don't-tell-so-much feeling before sleep cause it will affect our sleeps which later add on another guilt feeling of creating sleepless night to each other.

Sometimes i just need a quiet time.  Time for me only.
How am i gonna do to make him understand?
How to ease the uncomfortable feeling?

SHIT! I started liking being alone again. (mood swinging here and there again i know..)

From single to couple, i still need to learn a lot a lot.
Selfish again.