Dear...

I stopped myself to think of any possibility that we might be together. I'm afraid to face the fate that 1 day we may be apart. So i always psycho myself not to think of you, cause u might not be the right 1. I know u must be blur and think that gals are so troublesome! Today say this and this but just in a second turn to the other way round!

Yes, sometimes i do find myself a little bit of "not honest to myself"! I always try to hide those bad feelings underneath my heart hoping that i'll forget it one day. It doesn't works. It's not the way to solve it. I knew it! But i just can't find a better solution for it! That's why i can't tell you some of the things cause i myself don't even know what i really want!! How am i gonna tell you then??

I was trying not to do the same mistakes again like what i had done to Stanley. Checking his ph's records, reading his messages, jealous with the gals who are so close with him, do all these like i'm a crazy and desperate housewife waiting for my deceitful husband to come back to my side! What a stupid and silly gal!!! And i don't want to have that kinda feeling again from another guy. I'm sick of all that sucks feeling! So i chose to not to involve in any of your activities, don't want to ask where have u been, who u with, who u are calling or messaging with, or why u din message me, why u din reply me.......i would rather don't want to know it. I'm sorry. I'm not manja u, i just don't want to repeat the same story again. Same scene, same fight, same harsh words...

All these thought came out from the new that Shirley will gonna move in to your house and share her life with you soon.

See, am not as good as what u think. The real me is so evil