things that out of control

I was trying no to let myself to have those negative thinking in my mind! That makes me blue all day long. I’m still loss. Even though I prayed every day. I told myself don’t worry about tomorrow, God will plan for me. But still Satan is working inside me!

Job.

I have no idea which companies should I apply, or there is none I can apply! Now only waiting the call from KTS. How if they reject me and no any others companies call me? wo bu zhi dao...Government sector? Parents and friends kept on persuading me to apply for teacher. I dun like it. Really really don’t like it!... Bank? What post should I apply? Most of them are seeking marketing executive. Does it means that I need to switch my field? wo bu zhi dao again! -.-

Exercise.

I wanna go for a jog! But no place for me to jog! Housing area here? Imaging when u jog, there will be motorcycles and cars approach you and people inside would keep on saying “ hello ah mui”…..and that really killed my mood to jog! Swimming? Think should b the same. Huge difference between guy and gal huh! If I were a boy, sure I wouldn’t face this kinda problem! Am I right? Okay, maybe sometime got some gays will approach you, according to my friend’s experience.

Jogging used to be one of the best way for me to release stress and relax my mind…

Family.

I am still not used to be at home. Especially I will be home for quite a long time. The way they communicate, they way they treat us…I can do nothing cause they are my parent. And in that situation, I would not tell them any single thing about me! So I would then try to call my friend. But is hard to share all ur personal thing with just any of your friends. The one that I would like to talk to was not free, the one that I shouldn’t call, they were so free and so willing to answer ur call and listen to all ur rubbish complain!

Relationship.

What a mess! I was trying to find a way to solve my complicated relationship. So I read a book named “I kiss dating goodbye”. God’s way of love is totally different from what I think or what I do! If I were to follow the book, am sure singleness is my destiny. It’s hard to find a guy that would like to follow principle that “the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment” (easy to say than do !)

-.-