Am not in a good mood right now.
First, i try to lose my weight. And during the process, i have a lot of battle to fight for. Although others will say i am fine, i look good. But no, that is not what i want. I need to cut down a couple of the kg. And when i feel that i am not good enough, i think i loss some confidence at the same time. That is a bloody shitty feeling. I feel like i can't do much and i shouldn't complain either during the process cause i am the one who wants to cut down my weight. I am craving for food although i try to not to think of it. But it needs time for my stomach to get use to super light supper. And all these makes me feel beh song. Don't let me meet up someone who claims he/she is fat yet still not putting any effort to improve it! Imma gonna screw them "FUCK YOU FOR NOT EVEN HAVE A SINGLE ACTION OF CHANGING IT!"
The food i took here always not healthy. I can't cook T.T And what else can i eat in the night time?? i went back the time is around 7 to 7.30. I went either jogging or brisk walk till 8.15. It is so late and outside food where got so small portion?? Taking vegetables only from economic rice stalk? Nothing else left...and those vege always very salty...not healthy. I might as well don't eat. I wish i can just buy vege and simply boil it and add on some mushroom and oyster source, that would be enough for me. And i will be damn happy for that too....Not getting the right food making me very frustrated. What is worst is that i can't help.
Second, due to my bad mood, anything can be trigger out. I haven't wash any of my clothes after my 1 week trip! I didn't do laundry cause i had experiencing my clothes ended up smell like fry fish when owner's family was here and they cook. YES, OUR CLOTHES ARE ALL HANG IN THE TINY KITCHEN. So this time around, they came again, so i wait. My day for laundry are from weekend to Tuesday, cause my roommate is not at home during weekend, so the rest of the day are for her, skipping some of the days where our next door couple will do laundry and the owner's too. I went back on Wednesday and i waited. Last night my roommate didn't do laundry cause the owner did it. Tonight when i was back from work, my roommate still not doing it cause the owner let their done clothes in the washing machine! Ridiculous!! We pay for getting this kinda of self service!!! WTF!
Third, why is it so difficult to watch something??? I have no TV, no nothing but only phone. Yeah...i should be grateful for what i have cause somebody else may not even afford to buy a phone...FUCK YOU when you say this cause you have TV!
Fourth, I am not throwing temper on purpose. It is not wise to say "you don't do that long time already" like i am a psycho patient, normal for a period of time and now recur again. I have a strong sense of auto criticism. Trust me, i am not feeling any better than the rest. I need time off so that i won't do or say things in rush, so that i can figure out what trigger me (which i mentioned above) , and do self reflection on it to help myself.
I am not done yet! When i keep drinking lots of water, i go to pee more frequent. And my place is 1 toilet share with 5 adults and 3 kids. Week days time in the office i am okay. But during night time especially i want to have a last pee before sleep yet i still need to wait and wait!!!! i am so annoying and nothing i can do. During weekend, most of the afternoon time the owner is doing the kitchen cleaning with the use of toilet.....If you were in this situation what will you do? I tell you the faster way to do it is to cut down drinking. No one knows the feeling. People will blame on me why not healthy not drinking water...kns! I never stop drinking water, i just not drink water so frequent like you have nothing to worry when you want to pee! Mind you, I still keep going to toilet and see the owner's black face so often!
First, i try to lose my weight. And during the process, i have a lot of battle to fight for. Although others will say i am fine, i look good. But no, that is not what i want. I need to cut down a couple of the kg. And when i feel that i am not good enough, i think i loss some confidence at the same time. That is a bloody shitty feeling. I feel like i can't do much and i shouldn't complain either during the process cause i am the one who wants to cut down my weight. I am craving for food although i try to not to think of it. But it needs time for my stomach to get use to super light supper. And all these makes me feel beh song. Don't let me meet up someone who claims he/she is fat yet still not putting any effort to improve it! Imma gonna screw them "FUCK YOU FOR NOT EVEN HAVE A SINGLE ACTION OF CHANGING IT!"
The food i took here always not healthy. I can't cook T.T And what else can i eat in the night time?? i went back the time is around 7 to 7.30. I went either jogging or brisk walk till 8.15. It is so late and outside food where got so small portion?? Taking vegetables only from economic rice stalk? Nothing else left...and those vege always very salty...not healthy. I might as well don't eat. I wish i can just buy vege and simply boil it and add on some mushroom and oyster source, that would be enough for me. And i will be damn happy for that too....Not getting the right food making me very frustrated. What is worst is that i can't help.
Second, due to my bad mood, anything can be trigger out. I haven't wash any of my clothes after my 1 week trip! I didn't do laundry cause i had experiencing my clothes ended up smell like fry fish when owner's family was here and they cook. YES, OUR CLOTHES ARE ALL HANG IN THE TINY KITCHEN. So this time around, they came again, so i wait. My day for laundry are from weekend to Tuesday, cause my roommate is not at home during weekend, so the rest of the day are for her, skipping some of the days where our next door couple will do laundry and the owner's too. I went back on Wednesday and i waited. Last night my roommate didn't do laundry cause the owner did it. Tonight when i was back from work, my roommate still not doing it cause the owner let their done clothes in the washing machine! Ridiculous!! We pay for getting this kinda of self service!!! WTF!
Third, why is it so difficult to watch something??? I have no TV, no nothing but only phone. Yeah...i should be grateful for what i have cause somebody else may not even afford to buy a phone...FUCK YOU when you say this cause you have TV!
Fourth, I am not throwing temper on purpose. It is not wise to say "you don't do that long time already" like i am a psycho patient, normal for a period of time and now recur again. I have a strong sense of auto criticism. Trust me, i am not feeling any better than the rest. I need time off so that i won't do or say things in rush, so that i can figure out what trigger me (which i mentioned above) , and do self reflection on it to help myself.
I am not done yet! When i keep drinking lots of water, i go to pee more frequent. And my place is 1 toilet share with 5 adults and 3 kids. Week days time in the office i am okay. But during night time especially i want to have a last pee before sleep yet i still need to wait and wait!!!! i am so annoying and nothing i can do. During weekend, most of the afternoon time the owner is doing the kitchen cleaning with the use of toilet.....If you were in this situation what will you do? I tell you the faster way to do it is to cut down drinking. No one knows the feeling. People will blame on me why not healthy not drinking water...kns! I never stop drinking water, i just not drink water so frequent like you have nothing to worry when you want to pee! Mind you, I still keep going to toilet and see the owner's black face so often!
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