His plan is just the time. Finally we met again. As friend.
I could see how much effort he has put in to contact me. I really really appreciate it.
This is not like him and because of that he surprised me. And i do not like surprise. Not this type.

I hate this feeling. Not knowing how/what exactly should i do. I guess i tried my best, did i?
The situation is not awkward but the feeling is damn bloody awkward.
Now what? What does he expected me to respond? I couldn't see any good for both of us. The only thing i left is the existing crush on him that used to crush my bones and soul in the end of the day and leading me to no way alone.

I have a lot of things to handle and to worry for the rest of 1 or 2 months or maybe longer that that.  I am afraid that i couldn't take it. So i guess i have to let go of this part. Ignoring this section. Let me be the coward this time. Please let me concentrate on my settle down matter and cure my home sick 1st. Before that, i don't wanna get myself into so much troubles again.

I really hate the feeling right now! Perhaps getting sick is a way to get me out of all the mess!

P/s: After i talk to Angel, i released. Why on earth letting he to control my emotion? Who is he to do that? He can't accept me for who i am and can't accept my offer to be my life partner is his lost. It is to be regretted that i can't help you.